the ocean breathes salty

your body may be gone
i'm gonna carry you in,
in my head, in my heart, in my soul
and maybe we'll get lucky
and we'll both live again
well i don't know, i don't know
i don't ever think so

the ocean beathes salty
won't you carry it in,
in your head in, your mouth, in your soul
and maybe we'll get lucky and we'll both grow old
well i don't know, i don't know
i hope so

well that is that and this is this
you tell me what you want and i'll you what you missed
when the ocean met the sky
you missed when time and life shook hands and said goodbye
when the earth folded in on itself
and said good luck

this is from a song by modest mouse.  when we were living with sophie the spring before last i would listen to this album when i rode my bike to work every day.  this song came on in the car for the first time in a long time the other day and it made my stomach flip flop for about an hour.  like i had gotten punched or i almost fell off a ledge or something.  there are other verses in the song but they make me mad so i didn't write them.  this band has a very unique style that i absolutely hated when i was in high school but it has grown on me in more recent years.  its definitely not music for everyone.  i love the way that modest mouse makes music, i just don't agree with their philosophies.  they are cynical and pessimistic to the extreme.  there is a certain definity and beauty to their thought, and they put that into their music.  i think that is what i like about it so much.  one line that i feel defines them "if life's not beautiful without the pain, well i'd just rather never ever even see beauty again."  i don't really get where they are coming from, but i love the end result in their music.
i can't listen to any music lately with out being reminded of sophie.  the beatles remind me of her because she said that the beatles are boring. "i've been listening to them since i was in the womb, they're not coming out with anything new any time soon."  cat stevens reminds me of her because we were singing "ohh baby baby its a wild world" on the way home from work the day that she died.  "bad to the bone" reminds me of her because she knew every word to that song and would sing it every time it came on the radio.  even music that she never listened to will say one line and remind me of her.  i am not trying not to be reminded of her though.  i want her memory to be in my life as much as possible.  even though it hurts so much knowing that it will always only be her memory.  i need it here.