have you ever heard of a velcro dog?

i have.  in fact, i have one.  in case you don't know what a velcro dog is, imagine a dog whose fur is made out of velcro, and in this velcro world, you are wearing fleece.  pippa lives and breaths emily.  sounds easy and wonderful, until you're in the kitchen cooking dinner or putting away the dishes and every time you turn around you step on the velcro fur dog and she yelps loud enough for someone to call the cops for animal abuse.  i am not complaining though.  i have never once thought "i wish i had never gotten this dog" because even though she is laying next to me on the couch licking her butthole (slurp, slurp, slurp...), she lights up my life.  i mean, you've seen what she looks like! how can you hate a face like that?  her one major downfall is that she chews everything.  the rug, the table leg, rocks, daffodil bulbs, bobby pins... whatever she can get her mouth on, she chews!  i have researched this problem.  the experts recommend that lots of toys be purchased and every time that she is found chewing on something wrong, take the wrong thing away and replace it with a right thing.  we do this, time after time after time.  she kind of gets it, just like she kind of gets house training (she has never once asked to be let out, but she also never pees or poops inside), and sometimes its an honest mistake (as honest as a dog's mistake can be) but it gets exhausting, always keeping an ear out for the crunch of a pencil or the pop of a flip flop strap.  this is why i'm never having kids.  if it gets harder than the laziest dog in the world, how can i possibly maintain my patience then??
so i didn't plant the garlic yet today.  it's still raining, but the garden girls showed up this morning in shayne's driveway and trooped on out to work in the orange beast, so i'm thinking the forecast holds a clearing up for the afternoon.  i will also be planting some daffodil bulbs that i saved at a planting job about a month back.  they will brighten up the entrance to our little fenced off yard in the spring like nothing else.